I have recently been inspired into the world of blogging. It’s a bit of a long story, but hey, isn’t that what I started this blog for?
I am about to begin my senior year of college. It is truly the most surreal phenomenon I have encountered in my life. So much of me is so excited to start a new life on my own, but another, much bigger, part of me is feeling pretty lost. I am completely aware that this is a normal thing to be feeling, but it’s a pretty scary concept for someone who has spent most of her life with a plan. And a pretty epic plan, at that. But recently I’ve been realizing that that is where I had it wrong.
I was not, by any means, your typical child. I told my dad that I wanted to go to an Ivy League school before I even knew what that meant – I thought “Ivy League” was synonymous with “prestigious institution” for a long time. I spent most of my adolescence researching the nations best colleges and universities and planning out how to get into one of them. And just to give you a full view of my neuroses, my parents played no part in this. Granted, they were very supportive and did everything they could to help me with my goal, but my obsessive determination was completely self-inflicted. The only problem was, I was so driven toward excellence that I didn’t take any time for self-exploration. I didn’t give a moment’s consideration to what sort of life would make me happy in the long run. So, in my ignorance, I decided to apply to engineering schools. This decision was based on two really horrible things to base a decision of this magnitude on: first, I thought I could I could “play” the admissions system by harnessing my inner female engineer; and second, money. Needless to say, this is not my proudest moment.
So, here I am. I’m about to graduate from college with a degree in Operations Research Engineering… and I have no idea what that little girl I used to be was thinking.
So what next?
Lately, I’ve turned to yoga. While I have been a fairly avid yogini for almost three years now, I have found new meaning my practice this summer. It sort of happened by accident. I am working as a summer intern and, away from the stresses of academic life, I simply have more time for yoga. As the summer progressed, my practice began to speak to me in new ways. I found comfort in the inspirational words of my teachers during my time of confusion. I began to seek more actively for what my teachers spoke of.
One night, I couldn’t sleep, and, reverting into less evolved ways, I opened my computer. Lucky for me, a Facebook post from an old (and beloved) yoga teacher caught my eye. I was then led on a yoga journey through the internet. I found blog after blog after blog. I read with fierce intent the words of fellow yogis around the world. I was so happy to find this pocket of wisdom and inspiration that had been hiding right in front of me all along. I was hooked.
At first I had no desire crossover from reading blogs to blogging. I am generally hesitant to share my philosophies (when I have them) with the world, especially when it comes to my yoga practice. This all changed when something caught my eye on doyouyoga.com (one of my favorites): the simple line “guest bloggers welcome.” I don’t know if it was fate or dumb luck, but this sparked an idea in my mind. So I decided to write a blog post. Just one. I wasn’t even really intending on submitting it, but I had always like writing and thought I would give it a try.
Well, any of you who are bloggers yourself probably know where this is heading. As I thought of ways to translate my jumbled thought processes into concise, (hopefully) eloquent sentences, I figured out what I really needed to say. What I was really thinking. How I was really feeling. It was so educational! Therapeutic, even. Which, given my current emotional state, was greatly needed. So, shortly after finishing my first paragraphs, I knew I wanted to start a blog, more for my benefit than anything else.
And here it is!
I know that was a bit of a long way of saying “I want to start blogging to find myself,” but I hope you read it anyway :). I promise, future blog posts will not be as long-winded or self centered. I hope you will stay tuned to find out for yourself.